In the darkness between worlds, her eyes flickered open. They were calling her again, tearing her out of her precious, dreamless sleep. Their voices were as familiar as anything could be to one who slept eternity away; they were almost the only thing she ever had contact with, out there in the universe. They summoned her, and she heard echoes of death in their wordless call. Her death, and that of something else . . . whatever it was they were bringing her forth to destroy. *Damn you.* And she was Awake. ------- "The heart may freeze or it can burn the pain will ease if I can learn there is no future there is no past I live this moment as my last." --"Another Day" from _Rent_ by Jonathan Larson ------- "Answering the Call" a fanfic by Ysabet original release date: August 13th, 1998 Her queen summoned her as the sun vanished and the Earth began to rise on the horizon, a great blue and green orb that reflected enough light to keep their part of the moon from ever being truly dark. The princess answered at once, her usually light steps heavy with dread. She kept her face composed as she traveled through the palace, and dismissed her bodyguard when they reached the queen's chambers. After he had vanished down the hallway, she looked out the window for a minute. *Surely she won't begrudge me this moment.* The Earth had risen high in the little while it had taken her to reach her destination, and now it hung in the night sky, a world of legend that was close enough to touch, and yet denied to her. All the worlds of the Silver Millennium were beyond her reach, even the one whose name she carried, but the others were worlds which answered only to the moon queen. Earth was an ally, not a subject, and the two kingdoms regarded each other with wonder and a trace of suspicion. The more 'advanced' of the terrans envied the lunars their seemingly-magical abilities, and their access to the heavens, while those who knew of the lunars' existence but not of their mortality often saw them as some sort of deities. The lunars often envied those who were earthbound because, despite the variety of worlds they could travel to and live upon, the only one that was completely naturally hospitable to humans was Earth, with its real air and oceans. The princess of Saturn envied them all. From the age of four, this palace was all the world she had ever known. Now, she suspected, it was time for it to be taken from her. She had lived for almost seventeen years, little more than a heartbeat of her potential lifespan . . . and yet it was more than she had been raised to expect. While the daughters of the other Families learned their duties and took oaths as sailor soldiers, traveling the solar system and using their powers to the fullest, she had been forbidden to don a sailor fuku, and forbidden to use her powers at all. That was her duty. She was resigned to it, and understood it, but still . . . she envied them. She took a deep breath and, with a last longing glance at the Earth, knocked on the door. When it opened, she walked in with as little hesitation as possible, and bowed before her queen. "Selenity." "Saturn." The queen's voice was very soft as it came out of the room's darkness. "Thank you for coming so promptly." Saturn looked around and wondered to herself what the point in delaying would have been. As her eyes adjusted to the dimness, she realized that she wasn't alone with her sovereign. The three Outer soldiers were present as well--all of them!--leaving Castles Charon, Triton, and Miranda empty. So it was true . . . it was time. Her heart sank at this unspoken confirmation. She forced her voice to remain steady as she nodded to the trio. "Uranus. Neptune. Pluto." "Princess Saturn," Uranus acknowledged her for the three of them. The title stung. She should be a sailor soldier, like them! Selenity looked at the girl, her usually distant eyes sad as they rested on her. She addressed the three soldiers behind her without looking at them. "As you can see, she is near Awakening." Uranus nodded. "We'll have to look at her, Selenity." "Of course." The queen gestured for the leader of these darker members of her court to approach. Saturn swallowed and tried not to look nervous as the tall woman stood in front of her and stared into her eyes. "It's all right if you feel like appraising me back, Saturn." Uranus' rich voice was gentle. Saturn blinked, saw sincerity in the other's gaze, and looked back at her, studying this woman who would have been her commander if she were allowed to--she stopped that train of thought. She couldn't, and she knew why. Instead, she silently absorbed what information she could. Uranus had a _presence_ that threatened to overwhelm her, centered in her bottomless eyes that changed color while Saturn watched, always blue but shifting from gray-tinted to a trace of green. Her hair was a pale white-gold that gleamed in the dimness, framing a face set with determination. She turned away abruptly, and Neptune silently appeared beside her. The ocean soldier was all aquamarine as far as Saturn could see; her eyes, hair, and uniform were all a virtually identical hue. The two women simply looked at her for a long time, and Saturn noticed the way they stood, so close to each other that it was difficult to ignore the fact that they were sharing one sphere of 'personal space'. She remembered that they were lovers, and more than that, soul-bound to each other. She remembered that their mission involved spending most of their time alone in their Castles, keeping a lonely vigil to protect the solar system from invaders. Lovers who rarely had the chance to touch, never mind make love. And yet they endured the separation, something which would never be expected of any other soul-bound pair. Their duty demanded it. For a moment, Saturn was able to really _see_ the almost physical pain the two were enduring as they scrutinized her, so close to each other and unable to simply touch. She came very close to flinching; only the thought of what she was expected to give up prevented it. Uranus' voice startled her. "Pluto, see what you think." The pair stepped away, and the guardian of Time was before her. Saturn stared. The other two were rarely seen, it was true, but Pluto was a legend, the other sailor soldier who was essentially condemned by her mission. Always alone, without even the comfort of a loved one's voice to hold on to. *But at least she's awake and aware,* came the rebellious thought. *I won't even have that much.* She peered into the older woman's face, wondering what she might see there. The red eyes that studied her so coolly were empty, blank in a way that sent chills up her spine. Was that what so much isolation did to a person? Pluto's examination was brief, almost cursory, and she turned to Selenity. "It is definitely time, Majesty." There was no resentment in her voice as she looked at the queen who had assigned her to live outside of Time itself when she was only a little girl, younger than Saturn was now. "The power is growing beyond levels that can be controlled by simply keeping her from transforming." "As I thought." Selenity sighed audibly. "Saturn . . . " The princess looked at her impassively. "Yes, Majesty?" "You do understand why this has to be, don't you?" For a moment their eyes met, and the queen's were so pained that Saturn's control broke for a moment. "Yes," she whispered. "I'm sorry." Selenity turned away and walked to the other side of the room, where she picked up a small box decorated with the signs of the Families. She brought it to the princess and opened it. Inside lay a single transformation wand. Princess Saturn stared at it. It was what she wanted most, and it essentially meant her death. She bit her lip, and her eyes closed as tears welled up. "Selenity-sama . . . all I want is to be a sailor soldier. It's in my blood. I'm not like the others, who got their power by being the eldest daughter of their Family. The magic chose my mother randomly from our Bloodline and I was born with my sigil shining." Her eyes opened and she stared at her queen. "I'm supposed to be a soldier." One tear tracked down her cheek. "I'm supposed to use my power for you . . . and I can't . . . I have to be locked up because of it." Another tear escaped. "I can't just be killed . . . have to lie there asleep until something needs destroying, and then I have to wake up and destroy it and die. I . . . want to be a sailor soldier . . . any of them but who I have to be." Selenity was white. "I'm sorry," she repeated, as if the words hurt. Maybe they did. Saturn knew that the queen hated having to do this to her almost as she hated having it done. "I know. Just tell me . . . will I understand, when I transform? I understand it a little, now, but I don't _feel_ as if I'm dangerous. Will I understand?" Dark violet eyes pleaded for an answer. The queen was silent; it was Uranus who responded. "I'm the Sailor Uranus who Awakened you the last time, with Pluto, with this Neptune's predecessor." She exchanged a haunted, longing look with her partner. "I saw your eyes when you heard what you had to do, and I was with you when you died, though you don't remember. I hope you don't remember. My mother's sister, the Sailor Uranus before me, was one of the ones who put you into that sleep I Awakened you from." Her odd blue eyes looked into Saturn's. "And all I can tell you is that she said you've always seemed to understand. And that I hope I never have to Awaken you again. When you touch that wand, you'll become one of my 'sisters', and I know it's easier for you to sleep. I want this to be as easy for you as possible." Saturn believed her. She closed her eyes again, gathered all her courage, and looked at her queen. When she tried to speak, her voice cracked; she tried again. "Selenity, queen of the moon, I swear this oath to you: I, the Named princess of the planet Saturn, true daughter of my Family, take on the powers of my Blood in your service. I accept the duty before me, and swear to act as befits a sailor soldier; protecting you, your Bloodline, and the worlds of this solar system. I will fight to fulfill my mission at any cost to myself, until the end of my life." She paused. "As the soldier of the Family of Saturn, I accept that my duty is to sleep, unable to harm anyone around me with my power, until such time as you summon me through your Outer soldiers. I will be bound by them and I understand that they will impart your will to me. When I answer their call, I swear to lay down my life by destroying your enemies. Mine is the power of death, the double-edged sword that spills my blood with theirs. Mine is also the power of rebirth, and I accept that I will be reborn and take up this mission again, once I have fulfilled it. This is my oath to you." She sensed the approval of the Outer soldiers, and knew she'd covered everything she needed to. She reached out and took the transformation wand out of the box. For the only time in this incarnation, she called out, "Saturn Planet Power, make up!" The immediate response was the surge of energy that surrounded her. It burned away the princess, and left only a soldier behind. Ribbons of black light flared around her hand and coalesced into a weapon that stood taller than she did. "The Silence Glaive," she whispered, and realized that it was over. She was Sailor Saturn. She didn't have to bow as she turned back to Selenity; the power within her drove her to her knees. "Majesty . . . I am the soldier of creation and destruction, of death and rebirth . . . and I submit to your will." The queen's fingers touched her face, and she felt the sigil of her Blood blaze on her forehead. Their eyes met one more time, and she saw the crescent on Selenity's brow gleaming in answer. Everything changed in the silence that filled the room. The light in her queen's eyes guided her mind to the web that connected all of the sailor soldiers. She felt the light of the four Guardians of the Royal Family, felt them sense her presence. The rush of sorrow from all four of them was startling; she'd seen them around the palace all of her life, but hadn't realized how much they cared for her. *We were afraid, Saturn.* She heard one of their voices in her head. Mars? *Yes. We were afraid of losing you . . . you're our sister, and the loss is a deep one.* The contact faded; closer at hand, she felt the three darker lights of the Outer soldiers. They were far more like her, she realized, and much closer to her. Ironic, almost tragic, that they must be the ones to seal her away. She looked at them with her eyes and with the new inner awareness. Uranus and Neptune, always together and nearly always apart. Pluto, as alone in her way as Saturn would be. The weight of their responsibilities made hers feel almost light, for a moment. At least she would be asleep, unaware. Until they called her. *Do you understand yet?* Neptune's voice, as clear as if she'd spoken. *No.* A wave of sympathy, as strong as a tide on Earth must be, washed over her. *Look inside. Find the names of your attacks. See what they mean.* She did so, found the words locked in her subconscious, there to be called on. 'Silence Wall', a wall of invisible force that could shield almost anything if she was strong enough when she used it. And deeper still, she found it: the attack for which she must sleep. 'Silence Glaive Surprise'. Just thinking the words, the weapon in her hand trembled with a hunger that shocked and pained her. There was nothing to describe the power she could unleash with those words. All her life she had been told, made to realize that with those words she could kill anything she chose, at the cost of one life. Her own life. All her life she had been told . . . but now she _understood_, at last. The weight of it made her double over, and the tears fell. "Do it," she choked out. She somehow felt Neptune's hesitation as Pluto and Uranus stepped forward. In a strange way, that gave her courage. She forced the tears to stop, forced herself to stand. "Do it, Neptune. It has to be this way." The Sword appeared. The Mirror. But before she summoned the Orb, Pluto looked at her and smiled, a wan smile that held more pain than comfort. "Saturn. I have seen, in some futures that may come to be, a time when you may be born free of this curse." Saturn smiled back, an equally unlikely smile. "Don't give me hope, Pluto. I don't think I can bear hope. Just give me sleep." She looked at them, looked for Selenity; the queen was gone. "She can't be here. It won't work if she's here." Saturn nodded acknowledgment of Uranus' explanation. "Make me a promise." They looked at her. "None of us really knows what the future holds; even you, Pluto, can only tell when something goes wrong and fix it after the fact. If I should ever . . . wake up or be born uncontrolled, promise me that you'll take my life before anything goes wrong with my power." They looked uncomfortable, but Uranus nodded. "We will. We take care of our own." Saturn closed her eyes one last time. "Do it." She felt their Talismans come together over her, and then the world fell out from under her. Or maybe she fell out of it. She didn't know if they heard her when she said "I hope we never see each other again. It's better that way." Then she was Asleep. ------- Legalities: The characters in this story were created by Naoko Takeuchi, and are used without permission. This story can be copied and distributed freely as long as there is no profit being made by anyone even remotely involved (this includes putting it on webpages with banner ads), and as long as the copies are identical to an original, with unaltered text and the author's name and email address untouched. Thank you.