**********
"Out of Sight"
a Fruits Basket fanfic by Ysabet MacFarlane (ba087@chebucto.ns.ca)

Written for Demeter.
Contains spoilers up to chapter 105.
Original release date: March 2, 2006.
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Akito's scream cuts through to Haru's bones, familiar voice gone shrill and
unrecognizable with desperation.  His name wrapped in that voice, and
more--every wobbling note hits a different corner of his soul as his god cries
out for him.  Akito, who knows him more deeply and perfectly than any human
should ever know another, who doesn't know him at all.  The bond aches and
creaks between them, razor-bright and tangible, full of memories, and the
screaming goes deeper than his ears: the pain floods his mouth like blood after
a blow, thick and _wrong_ but undeniably part of him.

He stops walking without noticing, traitorous feet almost tripping over
themselves with conflicting desires.  The cry goes on and on, drowning out the
whisper of Rin's pain.  She's never been one to give full voice to her
suffering, and suppressed tears and forced smiles disappear under the shuddering
weight of Akito's uncomprehending anguish.  He tries to hold onto her name and
the dying thread of her voice, but the unnatural power of the bond sits in
judgment in his heart, balancing his lover and his god, making its choice
without him.

Kureno's voice hits him like cold water, so foreign to the war inside that it
takes him a moment to translate individual syllables into words.  *Go.*  Rin's
name is a lost sound in the older man's mouth, homeless and misplaced.  *Isuzu
wants to see you.*

It jars him loose--not a clean escape, but enough that he can breathe through
the crushing weight of Akito's pleas.  Enough that he can see the pity on
Kureno's face, and the reassurance; Kureno says Rin's name again, but what
restores Haru's ability to move is the silent promise in Kureno's eyes that
their god won't be left alone.

The knowledge of his hesitation haunts him as he flees, another layer of guilt
that follows him as closely as the bond itself.

***

Akito doesn't call for Haru in the weeks that follow.  Spring is in full bloom
outside her window, with its slowly-warming days and spreading green, but she
ignores it.  When a maid comments in Akito's hearing that spring is her favorite
season, Akito has her dismissed for speaking Haru's name in her presence.  An
irrational move, but no more so than the pain in her chest that vibrates and
twists when she thinks of him.

There are a few moments when she almost prays for their thread of the bond to
break, if only to erase her faint hope that he might come if she called.  In her
sleep she dreams of touching him, of reassuring herself that their shared blood
still moves through his body.  But she also has the misty dreams that the bond
sometimes slips into her mind, the soft voices of her Jyuunishi as they live
their lives like detached parts of her soul; through them, she knows that Haru
is with Isuzu, contaminating himself in her body.

She dreams once--only once, but it haunts her--of taking his sight, her price
for Isuzu's bitter freedom.  She needs neither tools nor violence; a light touch
of her hands on his face is all it takes to bring his blood to the surface.  It
slicks his face like tears, running between her fingers, and although he makes
no sound of protest she knows that the sockets behind his closed eyelids are
empty.

***

Half a mile away, Haru wakes from a dream of blindness and is unable to sleep
again.  He stares at the ceiling until sunrise, wishing he were in Rin's bed
instead of his own, unable to shake the ghost of a darkness deeper than any he
had ever imagined before.

***

Toward the end of June their paths cross in a back garden, and for several
minutes silence hangs between them.  The bitter hunger in Akito's eyes sends a
sick twist through Haru's guts, severe enough that he wonders if he can keep
from from being ill, and whether the gardeners would notice.

He speaks only when Akito moves toward him.  "Don't touch me."  It takes effort
to keep his voice steady--effort, and the memory of Rin's arms twined around his
neck as he bent to kiss her goodbye before getting up for school.

Akito hesitates, looking past him.  "Then don't block the path."

Haru steps aside to allow his god to pass, unable to keep from savoring the way
the bond flickers between them at such close proximity, and almost misses the
words that follow.  "What?"

"I said, happy birthday."  Akito's voice spikes with irritation, and it might
almost be an ordinary conversation.  "I doubt we'll see each other before next
week."

"I didn't think you remembered things like that," Haru says quietly, and Akito
pauses behind him.

"I remember the moment you were conceived, Hatsuharu.  After that, I'm not
likely to forget when you were born."

Akito continues walking without another word, and Haru is left alone in the
garden, blinded by tears.


[fin]

*****


Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North
America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga).  Used without permission or
the intention of making a profit.  Please support the original work!

"Out of Sight" © 2006 by Ysabet MacFarlane (ba087@chebucto.ns.ca).

Comments and criticism welcomed at the above address.

This story may be reproduced and archived so long as the original text is
preserved and the author's name and contact information remain attached. 
Notifying the author of any such use is an appreciated courtesy.  NO CHANGES OF
ANY KIND ARE PERMITTED.