******** "Your Place in Heaven" an X/1999 fanfic by Ysabet MacFarlane The following story contains Arashi/Sorata spoilers for later chapters of the X manga, and for episodes 20 and 23 of the tv series. ******** Fate hinges on thought and remembrance. Destiny cannot be cheated, but the means of its fulfillment rely on these most subtle of things. Both of these nights might have happened. Or neither. In the end, it may matter only to the pair involved. The world is oblivious. *** Arashi is weeping, the first tears she can remember shedding in what she regards as her adult life. The mist of tears blurs her vision so that she sees Sorata, not as he is, but as he was a night ago: all but dead, blood seeping from unnatural wounds he took for her sake. She lets him kiss her, needing the feel of his warmth for reassurance. He means to kiss her only once, but she closes her eyes and holds him against her. Clutching him, unable to bear the idea of the death he has promised her he will die, the priestess of Ise Shrine--a sworn virgin since the age of seven--decides to give her duly consecrated body to the monk who has offered her his life. This much is true. It is true, also, that Sorata continues to kiss her; he too is young, despite the weight of his vows, and in his love for her he forgets. He treats her as a lover, as if for one night they can be free of their fates--just a boy and a girl and their hearts. When he kisses her left palm, their natures reassert themselves. He is a monk offering reverence to a holy object embedded in a priestess' flesh. Her fingers close and stroke his face, and there is a tang of metal when he tastes her skin. A spark of raw power passes between her aching hand and his lips; the air in the room crackles as if lightning has struck. Arashi withdraws her hand, presses it palm-down against the stark white sheet, as if the sword can be contained by it. *** Does he realize then? ******** "And is your place in heaven worth giving up these kisses?" --Tori Amos, "Cooling" (b-side, from the choirgirl hotel) ******** In one time, one place, Sorata pulls away from her, horrified at what has almost happened, and she lets him go. She kisses him once more before, sobered, they lie down together and sleep. The sword lies unseen in her body, waiting to be drawn. *** In another place, Arashi distracts him. Love and desire and a haze of painkillers blur his mind, and they make love in the gentle, awkward way that means the world in the right arms. For one moment Arashi thinks of pulling away, knowing he will forgive her. But the moment passes, and he enters her. The priestess dies weeping in his arms, the strength of his body in hers driving the power of Ise out. Only Arashi is left, gasping with the loss, the startling twin pains where their bodies join and where the sword once lay between the bones of her arm. She is both empty and full, less than she had been and more. She kisses Sorata when he moves under her, and listens to the sound of her name on his lips. It means the world. *** In the early hours of the morning, before he wakes, she stands and dresses before kissing his forehead and slipping away. *** The Hidden Maiden of Ise walks down a Tokyo street, the point of her sword pressing eagerly against the sheath of her skin, laying down her honor to save her love's life. *** A powerless girl stares at her palm as the sun rises, and prays old prayers of protection silently, wondering if Destiny has changed enough to avert her lover's death. Wondering if the kami still hear the voice of a broken Seal. *** Both of these things are true. ******** X is the creation of CLAMP, and is licensed in North America by Pioneer/Geneon (anime) and Viz (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work! "Your Place in Heaven" © 2004 by Ysabet MacFarlane . Comments and criticism welcomed at the above address. Continuity notes: This story was written largely to work through my own thought process for a longer Sorata/Arashi fanfic. The manga version of what happened between them after Sorata was hospitalized makes sense: they became sexually involved, and Arashi, by definition no longer able to function as Ise's "Hidden Maiden", lost the ability to call on the power of the shrine. The anime also suggests that they had sex, but Arashi retains her power, which doesn't actually make much sense. So this story is an exercise in reconciliation. This story may be reproduced and archived so long as the original text is preserved and the author"s name and contact information remain attached. Notifying the author of any such use is an appreciated courtesy. NO CHANGES OF ANY KIND ARE PERMITTED.