"Breaking Up is Hard to Do (But Sometimes It Has to Happen)" a fanfic by Ysabet Original release date: June 27th, 1998 She was trying not to cry. Mamoru could see it in the way she held herself, despite the excellent job she was doing of keeping it off her face. He mentally kicked himself again for deciding only a few months ago to date a girl her age, however casually. He was almost twenty. She was fourteen, and he had just broken her heart. He hadn't wanted to, but there was no choice. Destiny itself had taken a hand in his life, and made him realize just who it was that he'd love for the rest of that life. This girl's best friend. Who was _also_ only fourteen. "Rei-chan." He kept his voice as gentle as he could, but ran out of things to say. What _could_ he say? 'I'm sorry' didn't seem quite right. And somehow, he couldn't find it within himself to tell her that he had never really loved her as she had wanted. Strange that he loved her far more now than he had then. *I've known her _forever_ . . . we've always been friends. We will always _be_ friends, if we can just get past this moment.* He looked at her closely, aware--again--of how beautiful she was. All of the sailor soldiers were, inhumanly so. Literally. They were human now, but their original bodies, which their present ones were copies of, had been lunar. Rei, for example, was blessed with hair and eyes so dark that they were beyond blackness, shimmering violet in the right light; a bone structure that left people staring at her body as she passed, often not for sexual reasons but for simple awe; and a voice as dark and smooth as velvet, that gave her the appearance of maturity far greater than her age. "I guess I knew". Her voice was very soft at this moment. "The minute we reached you two, and I saw you hurt and Usagi holding you, I knew it had to be over. Even before we all found out about our--our past. Just the fact that she's Sailor Moon and you're Tuxedo Mask, that was enough. And with Serenity and Endymion on top of that . . . I knew. It was just a matter of getting you back alive and yourself again, and then waiting for you to tell me." "Rei--" He stopped again as she took a step back and transformed. It was the first time he'd actually seen any of the senshi change, except for Usagi, and he realized he'd assumed it was the same for all of them. The only similarity was the feeling that time suspended while it happened; really only a moment or two passed as she twisted her wrist and produced her transformation pen in almost the same way that he plucked roses from the air, whispered "Mars Power, make up!", and vanished momentarily in rings of fire. They spun around her body and melted into her red and white fuku, sparkling tiara, and the heeled shoes that he always winced at because they were so patently impractical--even if they did give her an extra advantage when she kicked. On second thought, remembering one of those heels stabbing into a youma, maybe they weren't so bad . . . "Mars", he corrected himself. They stared at each other. "It feels easier like this, for some reason." She smiled wryly. "Like this I can see Tuxedo Mask over you, and I never loved him. Mars never loved you." "No," he answered without thinking. "Mars is the fire-child, the personal protector of the moon princess' heart, her most trusted friend . . . and she never loved a prince of Earth." Mamoru felt himself freezing, suddenly, and somehow knew it was Endymion moving his body--the ghost of the prince who had been. He saw her realize it too--whether the memories of Mars-who-had-been knew him, or if it was her innate mystical gifts telling her, he wasn't sure. "She loved a human, true, but it wasn't me." "Who?" she asked quietly. Endymion smiled. "You'll remember on your own, when the past and future begin to come together. Maybe sooner. You've lost him twice now, and you will lose him once again before he is gone forever. Whatever happens after that will be new, but first the Silver Millennium must be put to rest. Your two circles will move together and a new destiny will start--one you can control. You can't stop this one . . . only wait it out and try to make it as easy on everyone as you can." The prince faded back into Mamoru's unconscious as Mars opened her mouth to say something else. He shook his head. "Me again, Rei-chan." "I picked something up." Her eyes were determined as she snatched up a piece of paper and a pen and began to write. "The center. Moon." Around the first mark she etched four more. "Mercury--the . . . lorekeeper? No, that's not right, but . . . Mars--guardian of the Millennium's spirit, and Serenity's soul . . that's weird." She shook her head. "Jupiter-- likewise, guardian of the princess' physical body . . . Venus--leader of the circle." "That all makes sense," Mamoru started to say, but stopped when Mars traced out four more marks around the ones she'd already inscribed. "And the outer circle. Here--Time, peace and revolution both, life and death and neither. These two--locked together, but opposite; heavens and oceans? Earth--the element--in between them . . . here. With creation in one hand and destruction in the other." She kept drawing, away from the first sketch. Another center, another circle of four. "The center. And around it--light and darkness, moving. Stars constant. Crystals focusing both. And the power that fuels it all." "Rei . . . what _is_ it?" "I've almost got it. Hold on." The priestess focused as intently as she could, and Mamoru actually felt the force of her mind as she contemplated it--and suddenly relaxed. "Oh--like this! One over the other--" she held one hand over each side for a moment, and then brought them together. "Still moving, even though they're not all in synch anymore. Trying to end." "But what is it?!" "I think . . ." she swallowed. "I think it's the Silver Millennium. The heart of it. And if this part is us, the senshi . . ." "NO." His voice surprised them both. "Not yet, Mars. Destroy it, and don't speak of it. It's not time." "Indeed." A new voice--they both turned to stare, and saw a strange senshi--for the moment before she stretched out a hand to them. "Forget. For now. Endymion, be still; Mars, contain yourself. It is not time yet." In response, Time shifted. ------- Pluto looked at them in silence. They were so _young_ in this time, so different from what she remembered. She had existed in this period for quite a while, putting some affairs in order, and it wasn't the first time Serenity had sent her into the past for a prolonged stay. But this time she wouldn't be returning home. She had been born in Crystal Tokyo under Neo-Queen Serenity's rule, and had known that this current mission was the reason for her rebirth. Her other self, the earlier Pluto, was still alive outside of this Time, but not for much longer. She herself, who Serenity had named Meioh Setsuna, remembered dimly breaking the rules she had lived by when she had spent all of her time guarding the Time Gate; she remembered dying for it. And so, when the other Pluto died, she would be here to replace her. The sailor team needed to be complete, even though she didn't know what was going to happen. Serenity had forbidden her to know. She had already begun the first stage of her mission, had made contact with the two girls who would very soon become Sailors Neptune and Uranus. She didn't really know their future counterparts, had been deliberately kept apart from them. She understood the reasons for it, and would have obeyed even if she hadn't. But in the future she had known her King and Queen and the Four Guardians, and this was the first time she had encountered their past selves. And they were _so_ young. She carefully touched the threads of Time and took away their memory of seeing her. She didn't understand what it was that Mars had seen; her jurisdiction was the future, while the other Pluto took care of the past. She was a soldier of Crystal Tokyo, her counterpart belonged to the Silver Millennium. But somehow the past and future overlapped in the vision that had just been seen. The guardian of time tasted frustration at not being able to understand it. *Do you know?* she silently demanded of her other self, not sure if she was questioning the other, living woman, or her own memories of _being_ that other Pluto. The other had lived outside of Time for a thousand years; Setsuna was only twenty. She resigned herself to the frustration and didn't look at the paper as Mars destroyed it in silence. Instead, she double-checked her work in erasing their memories, and melted back into Time. For now, the Inner soldiers were not her concern. ------- Mars blinked as a wave of dizziness passed over her. She glanced over at Mamoru, who looked faintly confused. The scent of something burning lingered in the air, but she couldn't find the source at first glance. The feeling of disorientation she'd had was fading, and after a moment all that remained of it was the vague suspicion that she'd had some paper on the table. She must have moved it. The two of them looked at each other in silence, neither noticing the ashes that were blowing away from the windowsill, where Mars had obediently incinerated her sketch before forgetting that she'd done so. Mamoru had trouble meeting her eyes. "I guess that's it, then." "I guess so." Mars sighed softly and dropped her transformation, unable to hold onto the impulse that had made her change. Mamoru coughed in sudden embarrassment and Rei looked up in surprise. "What?" He was blushing a little. "Um, Rei-chan . . . you might want to give people some warning before you do that." "Why?" He looked directly at her again. "So they can look away, you know?" She stared blankly at him for a moment, and then realized that he'd just gotten a clear, if very brief, look at her body before her street clothes replaced her sailor fuku. "Oh!" She blushed too, and looked away for a moment to catch her composure. Then she laughed, abruptly breaking the uncomfortable feeling that had hung over them since Mamoru had arrived. "What?" "I won't tell Usagi if you won't." After a moment Mamoru started laughing too. "She wouldn't like it, would she?" "Not at all." They chuckled together for another minute or so, and then Rei became more serious. "Mamoru-san?" "Yes?" "Take care of her, okay?" Rei swallowed the sadness she felt. "I want her to be happy." "I do too. I'll do my best, Rei-chan." "I know. I just had to say it." "I understand." He smiled at her, and she let herself smile back. "Friends?" "Friends," she agreed. Impulsively, she walked over and hugged him. "Now get out of here before my grandfather decides you've come to marry me, okay?" He was startled. "He wouldn't really think that, would he?" "You obviously don't know my grandpa. Get going." Mamoru nodded and went to the door. "Rei-chan, are you okay?" She was silent for a moment. "Yes." She projected as much honesty as she could muster into the reply. "All right . . . " he continued to hesitate. She waved him out, and he went. She watched through the window as he left the shrine. "I'm okay," she told her faint reflection in the glass. "At least, I will be soon." Then, when she couldn't see him anymore, she went to her room and lay down on the bed, and cried over Chiba Mamoru for the last time. ------- Legalities: The characters in this story were created by Naoko Takeuchi, and are used without permission. This story can be copied and distributed freely as long as there is no profit being made by anyone even remotely involved (this includes putting it on webpages with banner ads), and as long as the copies are identical to an original, with unaltered text and the author's name and email address untouched. Thank you.