********
The Ceremony of Innocence
a Fruits Basket fanfic by Ysabet MacFarlane (ba087@chebucto.ns.ca)

Chapter Seven: Holding Pattern [7/10]
********

********************
Two months later--September
********************

Haru almost dodged the kick coming at him, managing to get far enough out of the
way that it only grazed his arm.  It was still enough to hurt.  He shook the arm
cheerfully, an automatic check to make sure it still worked properly.  "Well,
that's enough for me today."

"Ok."  Yuki relaxed out of his fighting stance instantly and began stretching a
little; Haru did the same, feeling the welcome ache of muscles pushed just to
their limits and then the tiny bit beyond that would add up to improvement. 
"You're getting better," Yuki said as they walked over to where Tohru had been
sitting watching them spar.

"Having Shihan work me over three times a week hurts like a bitch, so it's good
to know it's doing something," Haru replied as he dropped into a boneless sprawl
on the ground.  "I've been a walking bruise for months now."  He flashed one of
his rare, irrepressible grins.  "Don't tell me you broke a sweat."

Yuki ran a finger across his forehead as he sat down between Haru and Tohru. 
"Maybe a little."

Haru rolled onto his side and touched Yuki's face to check for himself.  "Hmm. 
What do you know?  I'll mark it on my calendar."  He heard Tohru giggle at
Yuki's expression as she stood up.

"I have to go to work now," she said.  "Thank you for letting me watch; it was
fun."

"She's turning bloodthirsty, Yuki," Haru said.  "Better watch yourself."

"It's fun when you're not trying to hurt each other," she replied.  She frowned
slightly as Haru sat up and winced.  "Although it looks like maybe you are
hurting each other."

Haru waved a dismissive hand as he stretched again.  "It works out.  Shihan and
Yuki kick my ass, but I put some of Shihan's students through their paces for
him sometimes, and I don't think they enjoy it."

"How is Shishou-san these days?" Tohru asked, her eyes suddenly serious.  "I
haven't seen him since--"  She didn't need to finish the sentence.

"He misses Kyo," Haru said simply.  "And I think he's lonely.  Kagura-nee and I
both started going back to regular lessons a few months ago to keep him
company."  He flicked a glance at Yuki.  "Yuki, you should too.  Shihan can
still beat you, right?"

"I've never come close to winning," Yuki replied.  He smiled up at Tohru, seeing
the flicker of sadness in her eyes at the sound of Kyo's name.  But she smiled
back and bent to kiss him, leaning carefully on his shoulder.  "Have a good
shift," he told her.

"I will.  It's a short one today, so I'll be home in time to cook. 
Hatsuharu-san, are you staying for supper?"

"Have I ever turned that kind of invitation down?"  Haru asked, also trying to
lighten her mood.  She shook her head.  "I'll probably be here.  Thanks,
Honda-san."  He and Yuki watched her go into the house, and then he brought the
conversation back to their master.  "He still wants to teach the kids, but Hiro
doesn't have the patience and Kisa doesn't have the temperament.  I think Kisa
should learn _something_, though.  With her looks she's already attracting some
creeps."

Yuki frowned a little.  "Some self-defense might be good, but I can't see her
starting full-fledged martial arts."

Haru blinked at him.  "That's why Kagura-nee started--besides wanting to do what
Kyo was doing, I mean.  She had old perverts after her by the time she was ten."

"Kagura did?" Yuki asked in surprise.

"Sure."  Haru nodded.  "Have you _looked_ at her?  And some guys always think
beautiful girls are free for the touching."  Yuki still looked startled, and
Haru prodded him lightly in the side.  "You never even noticed, did you?  She's
a Jyuunishi, Yuki, of course she's gorgeous."  He shrugged a little.  "It's not
as obvious as with the other girls, 'cause she doesn't have the exotic coloring
like Kisa or display herself like Rin does--" this with no hint of censure, only
a statement of fact "--but of course she's got that side effect of the curse."

"Oh."  Yuki peered down at Haru, studying the ox's face for a moment while he
tried to see him in the same light.  Haru looked back at him, not seeming to
mind the blatant examination.  His face didn't have the same feminine cast that
Yuki had always hated in himself, but it was finely boned and almost perfectly
proportioned.  "Do girls follow you around all the time?" he asked.

Haru shrugged.  "It happens.  I usually ignore them.  I don't tend to get
swarmed like you do, and I'm glad."

"Does Rin run into trouble with guys?" Yuki asked, wondering if his voice
sounded odd when he said her name.  Even mentioning her to Haru made him
uncomfortable.

"Sometimes," Haru replied after a moment.  "She refused to learn martial arts
properly, but Kagura-nee and I both showed her some ways to take care of
herself.  And Shihan dragged her to the dojo once and taught her how to handle a
knife."

Something about the idea of Rin armed was disturbing.  "A knife?"

"Yeah.  She was pretty good at it."  Haru grinned at a memory, then shook
himself a little, sharing the smile with Yuki.  "She showed me once--she could
get a blade out of her boot and against someone's throat in about five seconds."

"Her boot?" Yuki echoed.

"Tall boots are useful, and that's pretty much all she wears," Haru said calmly.
 "But I don't think we can convince Kisa in any of the same ways.  Rin hates
relying on anyone, and she's got plenty of hard edges to her.  Kisa's the least
predatory tiger I can imagine."

"I can ask Tohru to suggest it again," Yuki said.  "Kisa listens to her.  And if
someone convinces Hiro that Kisa should learn how to protect herself he can
probably handle her."

"Two-pronged attack, hmm?  I'll nab Hiro.  He listens to me about as well as to
anyone."

"Sounds like a plan, then."  Yuki paused.  "Other than that, though . . . can I
talk to you about Rin?"  He said it before he lost his nerve; he had been
meaning to tell Haru about his encounter with her, but they hadn't spent much
time alone since it had happened and the opportunity had never arisen.

"Hmm?"  Haru looked a bit startled, but he replied without hesitation.  "Sure. 
What about her?"

Yuki decided that feeling the situation out first might be a good idea.  "Is she
the only person you've slept with?" he asked tentatively, realizing as he spoke
that he was being about as subtle as Rin had been with him.

Haru just nodded as if it was a perfectly natural question.  "Yes.  And I don't
plan to start with anyone else."  He flashed a wry smile.  "Even looking at
other girls makes me feel kind of strange.  More than it did when we were
together, actually."

"How's that?"

"Well . . . back then if I looked at someone else, it was totally just looking,
'cause I had Rin.  But now . . . "  His voice softened.  "Rin and I were really
connected.  We got so far into each other it hurt.  I don't want that with
anyone else, and I can't imagine being involved with someone without it.  So
that just leaves looking at people's bodies for fun, and even for a Jyuunishi
Rin's pretty unnaturally perfect.  It makes me feel bad measuring anyone against
her."  He shrugged.  "So I don't."

"You still miss her, don't you?  Even after this long?"

Haru rested his forehead against his knees.  "Always.  Sometimes I _still_ wake
up in the middle of the night thinking she's there--like that 'phantom limb'
syndrome or something."  He sat up again with a sigh.  "But I'm ok, you know?  I
was brought up to expect being alone, so I don't feel like I _need_ to have
anyone with me.  I just wish she was."

Thinking of anything to say was hard.  "Had she been involved with anyone else
before?"

"Before me?"  Haru shook his head slowly.  "No.  By the time she was old enough
she was too wary of most people.  It takes a lot for her to even get physically
close enough to touch someone."  He hesitated for a moment.  "Do you know why
she doesn't live with her parents?"

Yuki thought about it.  "No."

"They hurt her really badly," Haru said quietly.  "They started beating her when
she was about nine, and they kept it up until she collapsed a couple of years
later.  I . . . " he trailed off.  Yuki waited.  "She was getting dressed once
when I went to visit her a couple days after she was admitted to the hospital
and I . . . I saw what they'd done to her."  His voice was soft and aching.  "It
still makes me sick thinking about it.  But she healed, and ever since, she's
had a weird relationship with her body.  She uses it like it doesn't belong to
her at all, like it doesn't matter.  Even when she's injured, she just endures
it.  But she's very selective about touching people."

"Didn't that make it awkward when you were dating?"

"No.  She always let me touch her.  Even when I was still a kid, before I really
understood _why_, I knew it was special that she trusted me like that."  He
shrugged slightly.  "Then when we were older, it made things more intense
somehow."  A faint smile touched his lips.  "I was pretty young when we started,
ah, getting physical, so she knew more about how things were supposed to work in
theory, but really we figured it all out together.  I think it was the only time
she ever felt really comfortable in her own skin."

Yuki gnawed thoughtfully on his lip.  "If she feels so strange about her body,
why does she dress the way she does?"

Haru considered it.  "Lots of reasons, I think.  She likes the way it looks. 
And its effect on people is useful for her.  I pity anyone who touches her
without her permission, but she doesn't mind them looking at her.  It makes her
feel wanted, and when she was younger she desperately needed that.  At the same
time--" he made a balancing gesture with his hands "--she usually doesn't feel
connected to her body, and when someone's staring at _it_ they aren't seeing
_her_, and she feels safer."

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes.  Then, "How do you decide what
to tell us all about each other?" Yuki asked.  "If you'd told me that a year ago
it might have made me think badly of her."

Haru toyed with his earrings while he thought.  "I tell other Jyuunishi things
if it seems like it'll pull us closer together.  We have to care about each
other, 'cause for most of us we're all we've got and we don't even know it."  He
paused.  "Why do you ask?"

Yuki rolled a couple of possible responses around in his mouth and only came up
with directness.  He made himself meet Haru's gaze squarely.  "Because . . . Rin
slept with me once.  Because of something you told her about me."

Haru's eyes widened and then flickered closed while he processed the
information.  After a moment he lay back on the grass and stared up at the sky,
his eyes tracking the quick movement of the wind-driven clouds.  "Ohh,
sweetheart," he breathed, an unreadable and deeply private emotion crossing his
face.  When it had cleared, he turned his head slowly to look at Yuki.  "When?"

"About two months ago," Yuki replied.

"Does Honda-san know?"

"I told her.  I think it's only the four of us who know, now."

"A very closed secret," Haru murmured.  "That's good."

"I think we figured out that we could probably be friends if we ever had the
chance," Yuki said.  "But Akito . . . "

"No, he wouldn't take well to his favorite being friendly with Rin."  He shook
his head.  "What a risk that was for her . . .  Akito calls her 'the slut', you
know," he added in a conversational tone that belied the sudden darkness in his
eyes.  "I don't know if he does it to Rin's face, but he really enjoys referring
to her that way whenever he talks to me.  I think he thinks I'll start to
believe it if he keeps saying it."

"Probably," Yuki agreed heavily.

"Was Honda-san ok with it?" Haru asked.

Yuki sighed quietly.  "It was hard to explain it to her, because she doesn't
have all the context from my childhood."

"And you're not telling her?"

"It's not something I can really talk about," Yuki corrected.  "She tries to
wrap her mind around what Akito is to us, and she does a better job of it than
we were raised to think an outsider could . . . but still, so much of it doesn't
make any sense for someone who isn't born a Sohma."  He rubbed his eyes
awkwardly.  "She said she understood, and she might have.  She also trusts me
more than anyone deserves.  _And_ I suspect part of her thinks she owes me for
being in love with Kyo."

"It's a pretty knot, isn't it?" Haru murmured.

"What about you?" Yuki asked.  "Don't you mind?"

"Mind . . . that's tough."  He winced as he moved.  "I'll work on your shoulders
if you'll do mine."

"Hmm?  Ah . . . sure."  Yuki went and knelt behind him, applying pressure
cautiously and then harder when he felt the tension in Haru's back.  He pulled
Haru's shirt away from his skin and glanced at the bruises, wincing in sympathy.
 "Shihan really is getting you pretty hard, isn't he?"

"Best way to learn, sometimes," Haru said mildly.  "Ow."  He let his head drop
forward.  "I don't know if it's as simple as 'minding' or not.  If I think about
it like 'you had sex with the girl I'm in love with', then I mind some.  But
when I had the idea in the first place I tried to label it 'someone I love doing
something for someone else I love', and if I think about it that way it's not
too bad.  I'm gonna try to not think about it too hard."  He moved out from
under Yuki's hands.  "Ow.  I think the bruising is deeper than I thought it
was--anything hard enough to get to the muscles is hurting too much.  Turn
around."  Yuki obeyed and Haru knelt behind him, going to work on his muscles
with practiced ease.  After a moment he whistled softly.  "You're a giant ball
of tension, Yuki.  I'll have to teach Honda-san to take care of you."

It took Yuki another minute to come up with a coherent answer.  Unlike him, Haru
knew exactly what he was doing.  "Seems like a lot of work," he managed.

"Well, sure.  That's why it's polite to trade.  Bet she'd like it too."

Yuki sighed quietly.  "Haru, am I the only one who's _not_ ok with this
situation?"

"It's not that simple.  I think it's more like you're the only one who's trying
to force it to be completely straightforward.  It's _not_ straightforward. 
Anything to do with our family is complicated, and you know it.  It might just
be something you have to deal with.  It's done now."

"You too?"

"Just something for me to deal with?  Yeah," Haru replied.  "I guess it is."  He
paused, and then added, "Is there anything else complicated you want to ask
today?  While we're dealing with thorny issues?"

Yuki thought about it while Haru worked on his shoulders, and something else
occurred to him.  "Actually . . . "

"What, really?"  Haru sounded curious instead of irritated, so Yuki turned to
face him, breaking off the admittedly-very-nice shoulder work.  "What is it?"

"I was wondering . . . " Yuki began tentatively, then discovered that he had no
idea how to phrase the question.  "When you're in a joking mood, sometimes you
say things to me . . . and when you're Black, too . . . and I was wondering how
serious you were.  I never quite know how to take it."

"You're just wondering _now_?"  Haru laughed, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"No.  It's just embarrassing sometimes, not knowing if you--I mean, you don't
have to tell me, it's just that we were already talking about really personal
things . . . "  He trailed off.

Haru cocked his head at him, looking thoughtful.  "Are you trying to work your
way around to asking me if you actually turn me on?"

Yuki felt his face burning.  "I guess so."

"Interesting question," Haru said mildly.  "Does it really matter?"

"What?"

"You traded massages with me just a couple of minutes ago, so it can't bother
you too much."  He blew some stray hair out of his face.  "I mean . . . it's
pretty obvious you wouldn't be interested in anything coming of it if I _was_
attracted to you, but you let me touch you anyway.  And I think _that's_ what
matters.  You're one of the most important people in the world to me, and you
know I wouldn't do anything that really bothered you."  A smile quirked his
lips.  "Make you a little uncomfortable, sure, that's too tempting to pass up
sometimes.  You can use some shaking up."

Yuki sighed.  "I can't tell if you're dodging or not."

"Just telling the truth," Haru replied.  "But for a direct answer . . . I don't
really know."

He looked thoughtful, then reached out to pull Yuki down on the grass beside
him, facing each other and close enough that their bodies were just barely
touching.  He closed his eyes when Yuki opened his mouth to protest.  "I'm
checking.  Shhh."

They lay like that for a few moments, and then Haru looked at him again. 
"Figure it out?" Yuki asked, not able to summon the energy to be sarcastic about
it.

"Mmm hmm," Haru replied.  "I think so."  He rested one hand lightly on Yuki's
throat.  "How honest do you want me to be?"  He felt Yuki swallow under his
touch.

"I asked."

"True.  Well."  He took a careful breath and smiled a little.  "To start with, I
definitely like girls better.  Touching you doesn't get me all hot and bothered.
 But you're someone I care about a lot, and skin is just . . . skin.  If you
were actively interested, I imagine I'd respond just fine."

Yuki rested his head on the ground.  "When I asked her about you, Rin said . . .
'he'd do it himself if he thought it would help you'."

"She knows me better than anyone," Haru said simply, taking his hand away and
ruffling Yuki's hair playfully as he sat up.  "Feel better now?"

"Yeah," Yuki replied.  "I think I do."

********
"Bury my lovely
Forget me soon
Forget me
Forget me now
Forget me not"
		-- October Project, "Bury My Lovely" (October Project)
********

The sun was setting when Tohru left work and headed for home.  It had vanished
behind the tall buildings, but the sky was still smeared with colored light. 
When she left the built-up area of the city the sun was still visible through
the trees, low enough that it was glowing red.  Soon it would fall out of sight
and leave only the murkiness of dusk until the stars came out.  Tohru looked up
at the fading sky and sighed.  Darkness didn't bother her, but dusk had become
her least favorite time of day.

It wasn't so bad when she was walking home from work.  Twilight reminded her of
Kyo, and it was better to be alone with those thoughts.  Her days were shared
with whoever was around her, and many of her nights with Yuki, but when the sun
went down and the sky was gray her thoughts were Kyo's.  She preferred the times
when he simply invaded her thoughts, when a patch of sunlight or the smell of
something she was cooking reminded her of him, sometimes strongly enough that
she could imagine he was nearby.

She stopped walking and closed her eyes, wishing it were easier to remember his
laughter than the way his blood looked in torchlight.  Dusk leeched the good
memories out of her and left only the aching horror of watching him carried
away.

Something bumped into her ankle, and she smiled a little.  "Hello, cat," she
said softly, opening her eyes as she bent down to pat the small animal.  He--all
of the cats who came up to her spontaneously were male, she'd discovered--was
green-eyed and almost entirely black.  He was one of several who approached her
often enough that she wondered if they were carrying tales back to Kyo.  She
hoped they were.

When she picked the cat up he nuzzled under her chin, purring.  She assumed that
Yuki noticed how often she came home with cat-scent on her skin, but he never
commented.  "Hi," she said again, scratching behind one white-flecked ear. 
"Please tell him I'm all right."  She felt a tear run down her cheek, and
ignored it; if she paid no attention to it, maybe the cat wouldn't tell.  But
the cat set his paws on her shoulder and licked the tear off, making her skin
prickle.  "Keep him company," she added, and the cat rubbed his face lightly
against hers before jumping down from her arms.  She watched him disappear into
the shadows, and wondered if he would head to the Main House.

"I'm all right," she whispered into the encroaching darkness, and she almost
convinced herself that her voice was steady.  She started walking again,
suddenly wanting the light of the house.

********

It was full dark when Kazuma entered the inner compound, stepping into the
closed world that held his family's secrets.  He walked in unchallenged; he was
a familiar sight to anyone who might see him there, despite his reluctance to
visit since Kyo had been locked away.  Polite but persistent calls to Hatori had
kept him informed about his son's condition, and the doctor had reluctantly
confirmed that Kyo had healed enough that he no longer required daily care. 
Neither man had addressed the fact that this meant Kyo would now almost always
be alone, or that Kazuma was not supposed to venture near the Cat's cell; he was
no Jyuunishi to be kept away by the simple knowledge of Akito's will.

He kept to the side paths through the House, wending his way to the far back
corner that the family studiously avoided.  As he approached it, his thoughts
darkened under the old waves of guilt that had changed his life by inspiring him
to take Kyo in.  It was all painfully familiar.  The path wasn't overgrown--no
servant to the Sohmas took so little pride in their work--but the gardens that
overflowed with life everywhere else were sparse and perfunctory.  Nothing had
changed since Kazuma had come down the path as a child.  He hesitated as the
'cell' came into view.  It was a small, isolated building; from old plans in the
family archives Kazuma knew that it held only a small bathing room, a
closet-sized bedroom, and the front room with its small barred windows that
admitted the only fresh air the Cat would ever breathe.  A single door at the
back led into that room; its only function was to admit food and occasional
other things.  Though exceptions had been made while Kyo recovered from the
night of his imprisonment, officially no one was to walk through that door until
Kyo died.

Kazuma swallowed hard, looking at the tiny cage that held his son, and walked to
the open window.  "Kyo," he said, keeping his voice low.  There should be no one
around, but the early autumn night was still and quiet, and it wouldn't do to be
discovered.

There was a long silence, but he felt the sudden awareness on the other side of
the wall.  He resisted the temptation to hold his breath so he could hear
better.  After several moments crawled by, there was a flicker of movement on
the other side of the bars and Kyo's eyes were gleaming back at him.

"Shishou."  The barely-voiced word hung in the air while they looked at each
other.  It was too dark for Kazuma to make out many details, but when Kyo
shifted his weight his movement was almost smooth.  Not perfectly healed yet,
no, but Kazuma was relieved.  "Why are you here?"

"Hatori-kun told me that I would be able to see you without being noticed."

"He told you that?"  There was an odd note in Kyo's voice, one that Kazuma
couldn't quite place.  He frowned inwardly, disturbed by his inability to read
the boy--no, that wasn't right either.  It was a man looking out at him.

"Not explicitly," he replied, and Kyo nodded.

Again, it was as if time had turned back and Kazuma was only a child staring at
the silhouette of the family monster, his grandfather.  Kyo slowly reached
through the bars, the beads on his wrist glowing softly in the strengthening
moonlight, and Kazuma clasped his hand in a grip that must have been painful,
although Kyo didn't flinch.

"There isn't anything to say, is there?" Kyo asked after a while.  A trace of
humor flickered through his voice.  "The only thing that's changed is that I
appreciate it when cats come to talk to me now."

"Do they come often?"

"Every night that it doesn't rain."  Again, silence.  Then Kyo squeezed his hand
hard and drew back into the cell.  "Shishou . . . no, Father . . . "  Kazuma
could hear the strain in his voice, guessed that the formality was all that was
letting Kyo say whatever he was trying to say.  "Please don't come again."

"Kyo--"

"Please," Kyo repeated.  "Please.  I don't want you to see me like this.  And
I--I don't think I can deal with glimpses of outside."  He pushed the words out
quickly, as if they were burning his mouth.  "I'm meditating a lot here, keeping
my mind still, but--"

"I understand," Kazuma said softly.

"Don't think about me."

"You know that won't work, Kyo," he replied.  "You won't be forgotten.  Yuki and
the other Jyuunishi, they're thinking about you.  And Tohru-san--"

Kyo flinched, then took a slow breath.  "How is she?"

"Living," Kazuma said simply.  In this, at least, he could read Kyo's thoughts. 
"I've talked with Yuki.  He's with her, which helps, but she's sealed part of
her heart off for you."

"She shouldn't--"

"There are certainties a person can have no matter how young they are," Kazuma
said firmly.  "She's made that decision.  She's alive, and she knows that you
live."  Kyo opened his mouth to reply, and Kazuma shook his head.  "It's her
gift to you.  Accept it."

"I love her so much," Kyo whispered.

"I know."  Kazuma mirrored Kyo's earlier gesture, reaching in through the bars. 
After a moment, Kyo's fingers wrapped around his.  "And I have some idea of how
much she loves you.  She told me what happened between you."  Kyo met his eyes,
drawing a sudden sharp breath.

Somewhere in the compound, there was a murmur of voices.  "Don't let anyone find
you here," Kyo told him.

They stood in silence for another long moment, and finally Kazuma asked, "Is
there anything I should say to her?"

Another shuddering breath, this one pained.  "No."  And then, "Take care, Dad." 
It was a reluctant dismissal, and Kazuma slowly pulled his arm back through the
bars.

"Don't forget that you're loved," he said simply.  "Remember it no matter what."

There was nothing left to say.  Kazuma stared into his son's eyes one last time
before turning and making his way back out of the Main House.

********

"Isn't Sensei eating supper?" Haru asked as he, Yuki, and Tohru sat down around
the table.

Tohru shook her head.  "He was up all night writing, so he left me a note asking
if I could just leave him something he can heat up later."

"I forget that he actually writes," Haru said.  "It's like there must be another
explanation for how his books magically appear on the shelves."

Yuki took some rice and passed the bowl on.  "He'd like that, I bet.  Thank you
for the meal."

Tohru and Haru echoed the ritual thanks, and the three of them ate quietly.

"Do you have much homework?" Tohru asked Yuki when they were almost finished.

"Only a little reading."  He shook his head.  "There's barely any work compared
to high school."

"Really?" Haru asked.  "Maybe I'll go to university after all."

"Do you have to go home and do homework?"

Haru shook his head.  "I'm all caught up.  I do my work right after school--that
way I don't forget what I'm supposed to do."

"Don't you write the assignments down somewhere?" Yuki asked.

"Yeah, but I usually can't find them again.  I'm not good at keeping my notes
organized."  He shrugged.  "So I do the work right away, and try to make sure I
remember the material on the first try."

Tohru blinked at him.  "How do you study?"

"Hmm . . . "  Haru set his bowl down and looked intently at the space over her
head for a moment.  "I usually don't.  My notes don't make too much sense."

Yuki nodded.  "I've seen your schoolwork.  It's kind of . . . erratic."

"Mm.  I'm good at multiple choice exams and bad at short answer questions.  I
usually don't get to the point in time," Haru said frankly.  "My grades might be
too scattered for me to get into university, actually.  But my test scores might
balance them out.  And I'm doing well in a couple of classes."

"Which ones?" Tohru asked.

"Literature's good.  I'm good at writing essays about characters.  And I'm doing
better in math than I used to."  His eyes gleamed.  "It makes sense this year. 
We're doing a lot more conceptual work."

Tohru stared at him.  "That makes . . . sense?"

"As long as the teacher doesn't ask me to do too many actual problems--the
formulas aren't sticking for me, but the ideas work."  He rubbed his nose
thoughtfully.  "She keeps getting me to come over and explain my homework to
her, and then she marks it kind of oddly . . . actually, I guess I don't know
for sure how I'm doing in that one.  But she nods a lot."

Yuki laughed quietly.  "She's probably trying to figure out if she can just give
you some kind of oral exam instead of the usual tests.  You really don't think
like anyone else, Haru."

Tohru was wide-eyed with awe.  "Hatsuharu-san, that's amazing!"

Haru rolled to his feet, gathering empty bowls as he went.  "No, what'll be
amazing is if I put your dishes away in the right cupboards after I help clean
up."

"You don't have to--"

"If I help, then Yuki can get his reading out of the way," Haru reasoned.

"Well--"  Tohru gave Yuki a helpless look.

"You may as well let him help," Yuki said.  "But don't let him put the dishes
away unless you want to have a scavenger hunt in the morning."

Haru sighed.  "Very wise.  I'll wash."

********

Watching Haru washing dishes, Tohru thought that she could have done them faster
herself, but that they had probably never been so clean before.  He inspected
each piece meticulously before handing it to her.  It gave her plenty of time to
dry and put them away, and she was still left watching him work.  That was all
right with her; even after so long in their company, each member of the
Jyuunishi was a source of endless fascination to her, and Haru was one of the
least predictable.  The domestic air he was giving off bemused her--he had
turned all the small lights on so that he could examine the dishes, and the
light reflected from both the polished surfaces and his array of jewelry, and in
the night-darkened window.

"That's the last one," he said, gazing through a water glass at the lamp on the
windowsill.  Tohru took it and ran her cloth over it before carefully putting it
away.  After she'd hung the cloth up, she found that Haru was still looking into
the light.

"Hatsuharu-san?"  It was a little worrying, watching him.  It had to be hurting
his eyes.  He didn't react, so she reached out and touched his arm tentatively. 
"Hatsuha--"  He'd removed her hand and had her wrist in a solid, painless grip
before she could finish.  They blinked at each other, and then he let go, with
an apologetic half-bow.

"Sorry, Honda-san.  I was zoning out."

"It's ok.  It didn't hurt."

His lips quirked.  "I hope I have better control than _that_.  I haven't hurt
anyone accidentally since I was a kid.  Shihan's made sure we all have _really_
good defense reflexes, especially 'cause we're Jyuunishi, but it stops being
just defense if you hurt the person."

Tohru nodded.  "That makes sense."  Haru stretched, moving with the same
thoughtless grace that Yuki and Kyo did.  She considered their family
resemblance while she unbraided her hair.  "Did you and Yuki-kun have a good
afternoon?"

"Mm hmm."

She remembered something about Yuki's smile at supper.  "He seems more relaxed
than he has for a while."

"We talked," Haru said.  "I think he's been wanting to talk to me for a while." 
He slid a quick glance at her.

She lowered her voice, even though Shigure was still in his room and there was
nothing to hide from Yuki.  "About Isuzu-san?"

"Yeah."

"Are you all right?" she asked.

He leaned against the doorway to the laundry room.  "Why d'you ask?"

Tohru blushed, suddenly at a loss.  "I--I just thought that you and Isuzu-san .
. . were . . . had been . . . I don't know."

"We were," Haru said.  "I just didn't know if you knew."  He ran a hand through
his hair.  "I'm ok, Honda-san.  I think I understand pretty well what happened
between them.  It only hurts because it reminds me that I can't be near her." 
He paused.  "What about you?"

Tohru didn't give him a careless answer.  Instead she stood and thought about it
for a few moments.  "I'm ok too," she said finally.  "Even though I _don't_
understand."

Haru pushed away from the wall and examined her.  Then he carefully put a hand
on her shoulder and rested his chin lightly on the top of her head.  It was one
of the ways male Jyuunishi learned to touch uncursed women; not an embrace, but
not so very different.  "That's good," he said, when she accepted the gesture. 
"I don't think it's something any of us could explain to you."

"Oh?"

"Does it make sense if I say that you've been hurt in more innocent ways than we
have?" he asked.  "I don't mean that I think you don't have your own share of
pain, but it has a different flavor.  D'you know what I mean?"

"I think so," she said.

"So I don't know if we could make you understand."  He turned his head and
pressed his cheek against her left temple.  The feel of his earrings catching
slightly in her hair made her blink, and then he had let her go.  "And that's a
good thing.  Let's go see if Yuki's done, 'k?"

********
Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North
America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga).  Used without permission or
the intention of making a profit.  Please support the original work!

"The Ceremony of Innocence" © 2004 by Ysabet MacFarlane (ba087@chebucto.ns.ca).
Edited by Alishya Lane.

Comments and criticism welcomed at the above address.

Full author's notes available at (http://bounce.to/ysabet)

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