[Fruits Basket] Haru/Rin, #23

Title: Picking Up the Pieces
Author: Ysabet MacFarlane (ba087@chebucto.ns.ca)
Pairing: Sohma Hatsuharu and Sohma Isuzu (Rin)
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Theme: #23 (candy)
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Takaya Natsuki and Hakusensha;
English-language versions by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga).
Notes: Takes place after chapter 107 (end of vol. 18); spoilers for ch. 104-107.
 ~4900 words.


**********

"Excuse me--"  Haru ignored the unfamiliar voice behind him, engrossed in
checking room numbers.  Hospitals were difficult to navigate; their sterile
walls and identical windows and doorways on every floor required his full
attention.  "Excuse me!"  The repetition was followed by a hand on his forearm.

He broke the light hold as he turned to face the nurse who was glaring up at
him.  "Hmm?"

"Are you planning to visit Sohma Isuzu?"  That was more like it.  He nodded,
schooling his face into polite curiosity.  "Sir, you're not allowed--"

"Not allowed?  Says who?"

"I remember seeing you the last time Sohma-san was staying with us, and I
distinctly recall you not being permitted to visit her."

Oh.  "That was last year," Haru explained.  "She's only here overnight this
time.  It's different."

"The last time I remember you seeing her, it took two of us to calm her down."

"That's the time she swung an IV at me?"  The nurse nodded, grim-lipped.  "Yeah,
but like I said, things are different now."

"Just because she's not as sick this time doesn't mean--"

"Not 'cause of that.  I promise she'll let me visit this time.  I'm her
boyfriend."  She didn't quite reach out to stop him when he turned away, but he
caught the restrained impulse from the corner of his eye.  "Look, I don't care
if you come with me, but you're not stopping me from seeing her."

"Sir, I'm terribly sorry--"

Haru grimaced, not liking the way her tone was changing.  "If you call security
on a Sohma without even making sure I'm not supposed to be here, it probably
won't look so good."  He gazed past her, not needing to put in any effort to
find a plaque with the family name on it.  The Sohmas were quiet about just how
many businesses were rooted in their fortune, but the philanthropic work was
less subtle.  She glanced back to see what he was looking at, and paled
slightly.  "I'm Sohma Hatsuharu," he said evenly, trying not to show his
irritation at trading on his name.  "And I'm here to see Sohma Isuzu.  Will you
please help me find her room?"

It took a good few moments to outwait her hesitation; finally she turned on her
heel and nodded toward a different hallway.  "Come this way.  Try not to upset
her."

"I won't, I said."  He followed her obediently.  "How have her tests been
going?"

"I'm not allowed to discuss that, Sohma-san."  She came to a sudden halt.  "Is
there any chance you might be able to convince her to stay longer?"

Haru took a deep breath of the faintly medicinal air, wondering if Rin ever got
used to the smell.  "No.  We're taking care of her."

"Being cared for at home is no substitute for proper medical treatment--"

"Our family doctor checks on her all the time.  And at least she eats where she
is, which is more than you guys can say."  He didn't try to hide the wry smile
that crossed his face.  "Besides, I thought she was a holy terror of a patient. 
Shouldn't you be glad when she leaves?"

"She almost gave us collective heart failure when she disappeared last month,"
the nurse retorted.  "And if you think your name is too intimidating for us to
call security, you should imagine how much we don't want a Sohma dying on our
watch."

"She's not gonna die," Haru said.  "Not 'til we've had a whole life together."

A strange look crept into the nurse's eyes.  "If you want that to happen, you'd
better make sure she doesn't go back to whatever lifestyle keeps sending her to
us, Sohma-san."

*****

"They're vampires," Rin greeted him, flexing her hand to show him the inside of
her arm.  She examined the bruises critically before looking up again and
noticing the nurse beside him.  "Vampires who don't know how to find my veins. 
Hi, Kurada-san."

"Sohma-san."  A quick bow, followed by a skeptical glance at Haru.  "I've been
reviewing your charts, but--"

Rin frowned.  "He can hear it.  And I'd like him added to the list of people my
information can be disclosed to, please."

"You've got a list?" Haru asked curiously, sidestepping the nurse--Kurada, he
told himself, trying to retain it--to sit on the foot of the bed as Rin pulled
her knees to her chest to make room for him.  He took her hand and turned it
over, wincing at the bruise forming on the back.  "How much blood are they
taking?  You're white as a sheet."

"It's just Kagura's parents and Kazuma-san," she said.  "Tori-nii doesn't
count."  She plucked at the edge of the blanket covering her legs, smoothing it
between her fingers.  "Before you ask, I slept for about four hours, and no, I
didn't eat breakfast.  It all tasted like hospital air."

"We figured, so Kunimitsu-san sent some food for you."  He nodded at the small
bag he'd set down by the door, and then pulled an open package of milk candy out
of his pocket, setting it on the bed between them.  Rin watched while he took a
candy and popped it into his mouth.  The slight arch of an eyebrow spoke
volumes: *Subtle.*  Haru ignored it and made himself more comfortable on the
bed, idly rubbing her ankle through the blanket as he looked back at Kurada. 
"So.  Charts?"

She made no comment on his casual intimacy with her patient, other than a hint
of color in her cheeks over how blatant he was being.  Haru was more gratified
that she also said nothing when Rin silently took a candy of her own.  Foods she
could put in her mouth and ignore instead of chewing were one of her few
compromises, safe to eat without drawing attention to herself.

"It'll be an hour or two before we start getting your blood work back, so there
isn't much I can tell you yet.  You haven't gained as much weight as we'd like,
but it's an improvement.  And--"

"How much?" Rin interrupted.  "I haven't been weighing myself."  Kurada
hesitated again, and Rin sighed.  "I mean it.  He's seen me so sick I can barely
walk.  I don't care if he knows how much I weigh."

"You've regained about two and a half kilos since the last time we checked. 
It's hard to be completely accurate without knowing how much your hair weighed,
but if you double that, you'll be roughly back to where you were when you left
at New Year's--still too thin, but no worse than plenty of girls your age."  She
flipped to the next page on the chart.  "Dr. Sohma's notes indicate that you've
only started getting back to the exercises for your shoulder, which explains why
your range of motion there hasn't improved.  Other than that, the overnight
observation indicates that your vitals are all steady and your sleep patterns
are still appalling."

"So if you're done sucking my blood, I can leave?"  The shiver that went through
her was so small Haru doubted he would have noticed it if he hadn't been
touching her.

"We'd really prefer to keep you for at least another day or two."

"No.  Tori-nii said I only had to stay for one night."

"Sohma-san . . . "  Kurada set the chart aside.  "I'm not your doctor, and the
decision isn't mine.  But if I may speak frankly, I've seen you coming in and
out of this hospital more often than I care to think about.  Five months ago you
were signed out on the condition that you'd be back within a week.  When you
came back last month you were in the worst shape I'd ever seen you, and then you
disappeared.  If we're to have any hope of treating you at all, I think you need
to stay put.  You show no indication of being able to care for yourself."

"I can," Rin protested.  "Things have changed."

The nurse's pitying gaze encompassed them both.  "With respect, Sohma-san, I've
heard that before.  You were very persuasive at New Year's."

"That wasn't her fault," Haru said quietly.  "And things _have_ changed.  She's
living somewhere different, and if she really can't take care of herself,
there're people who will.  If you told me the only way she could leave would be
if I dropped out of school and took care of her myself, I would, ok?"

"Don't make her think I'm an invalid," Rin grumbled, but her hand closed over
his.

He squeezed her fingers gently, still looking at Kurada.  "She's going to be
ok."

After a tense silence, Kurada picked Rin's chart up and bowed silently to excuse
herself.  Haru followed her to the door, shutting it behind her after she was
gone, and brought back the packed lunch Kunimitsu had made.  "Don't make me a
liar," he said, running his knuckles down the back of Rin's neck as she made
room beside her.

Rin snorted, swatting at his hand, but she didn't pull away when he laced his
fingers through hers.  "Like you'd let me--you practically told her you'd sit on
me and feed me by hand."

"Sounds fun."  He opened the bag before she could decide between glaring and
laughing.  "Hmm.  Either I'm supposed to help you, or this is supposed to last
you for a week."  He glanced around the room, looking for a table or tray.

Rin picked through the packed lunch and leaned back against the headboard with a
tiny pork bun in her hand.  "Housekeeping hasn't been in yet, and I'm not
sleeping here tonight, so I'm eating right here."  Somehow she managed to make
her first delicate nibble of pastry look defiant.

"He must've saved that one from supper," Haru said, retrieving a riceball and
taking a bite.  As soon as he'd swallowed, Rin broke off a piece of the bun and
held it in front of his lips; the oddly intent look on her face kept him from
chuckling as he ate it from her fingers.  "Trade?"  The riceball came apart
easily in his hands.

"What's in it?"  Rin peered at it dubiously.

"It's just got sesame seeds on it."  He turned a bite-sized piece over for her
inspection.  "Nothing sour."  She hesitated and took it from him before eating
it, discomfort making her look away.  "Hey, no fair," he murmured, not sure how
hard it was safe to push her.  "You started it."

The bed creaked softly as she leaned forward and kissed his fingertips. 
"Better?"

"A little."  The rice had left his fingers too sticky to caress her hair;
instead, he kissed the top of her head before she sat back.  "How're you holding
up?"

She didn't move.  "They're all tired of dealing with me," she said. 
"Kurada-san's not the only one.  None of them think I'm going to get better, and
I can't tell them what happened."  Her voice wavered slightly.  "I really did
try last fall, but then I didn't come back, so none of them believe me anymore. 
Kurada-san used to at least think I was honest, even if she didn't like me."

"She doesn't like you?"  Rin mumbled something too inaudible for him to make out
anything but her embarrassment.  "What did you do?"

She straightened up with a sigh.  "There may possibly have been a cup of tea
thrown at a wall.  Not at her!" she added when Haru didn't immediately react. 
"Nowhere near her!"

"What'd she say?"

"'At least we can always tell how you're feeling'."  Rin's uncanny mimicry of
the exasperated tone Kurada had used when she tried to make him leave betrayed a
long familiarity.

"You really don't go out of your way to make people like you, huh?"

"Neither do you," she snapped, curling in on herself a little.  She took another
bite of the pork bun and chewed deliberately.

"Don't need to.  You love me."  He followed her lead and finished the riceball,
watching her expression soften out of the corner of his eye.  "That nurse is
really worried about you, y'know.  And she really thought there was gonna be a
repeat of you freaking out if I came to see you."

Rin stared at him blankly.  "Why would I--"  Haru sketched "IV" in the air, and
she winced.  "Oh.  Sorry about that."

"'Sokay.  I love you, too.  Even if _I'm_ somehow the one everyone thinks has a
temper."

"_You_ broke someone's arm once.  _I_ only break dishes.  And after you live
with Kagura for a while, no one notices a plate or three."

"One arm, by accident, and nobody ever lets you live it down."  Haru gazed
mournfully at the ceiling.

Rin prodded his thigh with a toe.  "I don't think you can be a martyr about it
when you said the guy deserved it instead of apologizing."  Her sudden stillness
caught his attention; he turned back and found her looking through him in the
disconcerting way he hadn't quite adjusted to.  "I hate it here," she said
softly.  "I _am_ trying, but I can't do what they want."

"Yeah."  He gathered her into his arms, aching at the bleak calm in her voice. 
"I know.  All you have to do is get better, ok?  It doesn't matter what anyone
thinks of you."

"Glad you think so."  The muscles in her back tensed as she spoke, tangible
evidence that she was resisting the urge to pull away.  "I'm fine, Haru, you
don't have to--"

"Shhh."  He tightened his embrace, resting his cheek on the top of her head. 
"Just let me hold you, please?"

It took a long time for the anxiety to seep out of her, a slow draining of
energy that left her half-huddled against him.  Haru shut his eyes and listened
to the way her breathing changed while she settled.  *She's forgotten how to be
comforted,* Kazuma had said thoughtfully one night as Haru was leaving the
house, after Rin had fallen asleep.

Feeling her awkwardness in his arms made his chest hurt, something she
inevitably picked up on through or in spite of the way he kissed her face and
hair while he held her.  "I'm sorry," she whispered, for the hundredth or
thousandth time, and he said nothing in reply, recent experience having taught
them both that her restless tension was impossible to soothe with words.

"Don't you have to go to class?" she asked finally, without lifting her head. 
"You're in uniform."

"Technically, yeah."  He coiled a strand of her hair around a finger, still
unused to how light it felt.  "Does that mean you want me to stay?"  Silence. 
"Rin, I've skipped school over video games.  I can definitely miss it for you."

"You already missed all those days last month."  The protest was quiet but
heartfelt.  "I don't want you getting in trouble over this."

"Mmm, 'cause getting in trouble's so unusual for me."  When she tilted her head
to peer dubiously up at him, he leaned down to kiss her.  "I don't write
entrance exams for almost two years, if I even bother, and I meant it--if you
need me to take a leave of absence or anything, if it'd help you get better or
feel safer, I will."

"And we both know that's a bad idea."  She sighed and kissed him back before he
could respond.  "I don't need that from you any more than you need me to get all
freaked out because I can't always relax with you.  But if you can stay today--"
she hesitated, risking glance past him at the closed door that could admit a
doctor or nurse at any moment "--then I'd like that."

"Are you gonna let them run all the tests they want?"

Rin grimaced and sat the rest of the way up, rubbing her shoulder.  "I'll give
them a little longer."

"Eat something else?"  He held her gaze instead of looking back down at the
lunch Kunimitsu had packed, and watched the familiar responses flicker through
her eyes: irritation, frustration, and guilt blossoming in quick succession. 
Her annoyance was more fleeting as time passed, as she relearned the habit of
eating regularly, and as her body rebelled less frequently.  Kazuma had no
control over her stormy moods, but he restricted her environment so subtly that
she hardly chafed against it; anything he thought might interfere with her
gradual relaxation was simply not allowed to touch her.

She silently took a piece of uiro and bit into it, and a trace of tension Haru
hadn't realized he was carrying left his shoulders.  Rin ate slowly out of
self-defense, making it as easy on her system as possible while giving herself a
chance to see if anything hurt.  "Thanks, love," he said when she was almost
finished.

"I should get Kunimitsu to teach me how he makes that," she replied, after
swallowing the last bite.  "And he makes good melon balls."

"Honda-san's are better."  Rin looked skeptical.  "You should do what the rest
of us do--eat her cooking every chance you get."

"You're just infatuated with her because she makes you ginger pork every time
you ask."  She peered up at him through her lashes, only a hint of a smile
marring her sudden demure look.  "Should I get her to show me her technique?"

"I won't stop you, but it's creepy when you put on your 'highborn lady' face,"
he said.  "Cut it out--" he leaned closer and kissed the side of her neck,
making her squirm before he brought his mouth to her ear "--Isuzu-san.  I know
it's all for show."

While she was concentrating on keeping her amusement off her face, he sneaked a
hand under the blanket and ran a fingertip across the back of her knee.  It
wasn't enough to make her laugh out loud, but her soft squeak of protest made
him chuckle as he pulled her back into his arms to keep her from swatting at
him.

They both jumped at the light knock on the door; a doctor entered with nurse
Kurada before Rin could respond or bring herself fully under control.  Their
astonished expressions when they saw the quickly-suppressed laughter on her face
only added to Haru's amusement, although he reined it in as fast as Rin did.

"You'd think having my boyfriend in here would make knocking _more_ important,"
she muttered, just loudly enough to be overheard as she freed herself from his
embrace.  Her fingers stayed curled around his wrist, thumb rubbing against the
soft leather cuff he was wearing.

If the resigned look she leveled at the doctor was meant to bait him, he didn't
rise to it.  "Sohma-san."  Rin nodded back in silent acknowledgement.  "I
understand you're still planning to leave this afternoon?"  At her second nod,
he sighed and adjusted his glasses.  "I see.  We'd like to take some more blood
for a few additional tests, but if you haven't eaten--"

"I ate lunch.  You can stab me if you have to."

The doctor's frown at her choice of words didn't cover his surprise.  "Ah."

Rin's grip tightened minutely as she nodded at Haru.  "He'll be keeping me
company, though."  She slid him a sidelong glance.  "Dr. Mizuochi's my primary
physician when Tori-nii's not here."

Haru bowed as politely as he could without getting up.  "Sohma Hatsuharu.  We
appreciate your care."

"It's our privilege to treat your family," the doctor replied, with equal
formality, "although of course we wish it were unnecessary.  Kurada-san, will
you make arrangements for Sohma-san's tests?"

"Of course."

"I don't think we need to perform any more invasive procedures," he continued,
and Haru frowned, puzzled.

"Tori-nii ordered every test he could think of as soon as I agreed to come in,"
Rin explained.  "They did a scope first thing when I got here."

"Your endoscopy results look fairly normal."  Mizuochi withdrew a photograph
from the file he was holding and held it out; Haru took it when Rin didn't reach
for it.  "There are some minor lesions, but they look like they're healing. 
You're still experiencing pain when you eat?"

"Only sometimes," Rin said, and Haru found himself too focused on the picture to
follow the conversation.  He examined it from all angles, only snapping back to
awareness of what was being said when Rin waved a hand in front of his eyes. 
"It's just a stomach, Haru, you've got one of your own," she said, half-amused
and half-embarrassed.

"They put a camera down your throat?"  He stared at her mouth in fascination. 
"You should've told me."

"Next time Tori-nii decides I need one, you can come watch."  Rin wrinkled her
nose.  "It's not very exciting."

"Does it hurt?" Haru asked, as the door opened again and an unfamiliar nurse
entered.  Rin shrugged, staring at her knees in resignation while the nurse
conferred quickly with the doctor, who left with a nod at her.

"I've had it done three or four times," she said quietly, so only he could hear.
 "It's not so bad when you know what to expect.  And they've probably taken my
weight in blood over the last couple years, but I still--"  She looked up when
the nurse came and stood at her other side, needle and vials in hand, and nodded
as she extended her arm.  Haru watched while the nurse tsked at the bruise in
the crook of her elbow and found a vein closer to her wrist.  "Why do you want
to watch?" Rin whispered, her eyes fixed on his face while he watched the nurse
swab her skin and slide the needle home.

He tore his gaze away with a start, putting an arm around her shoulders, and
listened to the soft sounds of the nurse switching vials as the first one
filled.  Rin bore it without flinching; if he hadn't known how much she loathed
needles, he might almost have believed she was relaxed.  The nurse set the first
vial aside and picked up an empty one, rolling it between her fingers; her
expression was so detached that Haru wondered if she was paying any attention at
all to Rin's existence as more than an arm to draw blood from.

Bending closer, he pressed his lips just in front of Rin's ear.  "I want to know
what's under your skin, that's all," he murmured, turning the words into a kiss
before lifting his head.  The nurse glanced up at him, still clearly bored,
before swapping the second full vial for the empty one she'd been toying with. 
Haru reached out for it without thinking, setting the picture he'd been holding
down on his lap.  "Can I see?"

"You've got blood of your own, too."  But Rin looked expectantly at the nurse,
backing up his request, and Haru took the vial carefully when it was offered to
him.  It was still faintly warm in his hand, the heat of her body dissipating
through the glass into his palm.

"It's not the same."  There was something solemn about it, tilting the small
tube to see how the color changed at different angles before he handed it back.

The nurse added it to the other three full vials before she deftly removed the
needle from Rin's arm, applying a bandage to the pinprick wound.  "Dr. Mizuochi
said that should be all we need from you today, Sohma-san, but he asked that you
rest a little longer before leaving."

Rin schooled her expression so quickly that Haru barely glimpsed the taken-aback
look flickering across her face.  "Of course.  Thank you."  She said nothing
else until the nurse was gone; instead, she idly poked the new bandage until the
door had closed again.  "No bedside chatter and she did a good job.  I can live
with that."  Her fingertip moved to the bruise on the inside of her elbow,
pressing at it until she winced and sighed all at once.  "I'm used to them
fighting harder to keep me here."

"I guess eating and showing up for a checkup counts for something after all." 
Haru frowned thoughtfully.  "When do you get the test results?"

"Since I'm leaving, Tori-nii'll get them.  And then he'll come give me another
checkup himself and be all stern about what I need to be doing so I don't wind
up back here, except he'll probably still try to get me to come in even if I do
everything he says."  She picked at the corner of a pillowcase until Haru put
his hand over hers, light enough that she could still move freely; her fingers
went still under his touch, and then she leaned into him abruptly, pressing her
forehead against his chest.  "Anyway, I know what he'll say: eat more, sleep
more, relax more, don't think about--about anything . . . "

Sometimes he wondered if a lifetime would be enough to accustom him to how
slight she was in his arms.  "Got you," he breathed, caressing her shoulders
lightly in an attempt at soothing her.

"They can't treat what I think about.  They can take blood and take pictures all
they want, but it's all just to make them feel better."  Perfect silence hung
between them, slipping into the spaces between their skin; Haru itched to break
it, to pull her even closer, as if enough kisses could do what medicine
couldn't.  Instead he waited, until she added, "I want to go home," barely
audible over the sound of the circulating air.  "Resting there counts for more."

A quick glance around the room showed nothing out of place--the only signs he
saw of Rin's presence were the small bag she'd packed and the half-finished
lunch.  He weighed the doctor's request for her to stay and rest against the way
she was trembling.  "How long will it take you to get ready?"

"I'm ready now."  She took a deep breath and sat up, a hint of challenge in her
eyes until she saw the acquiescence in his.  "One more reason to be glad they
gave up trying to make me wear pajamas all the time."

Haru spent a moment admiring the lines of her nearly-bare legs when she pushed
the blanket off and stood up, smoothing her skirt down over the tops of her
thighs.  "You're cute when they make you wear pajamas," he said, gathering up
the remaining food while she went to the door and began putting her boots on.

She shot him a skeptical look over her shoulder, her movements becoming
distinctly less steady as she leaned over to tighten her laces.  "Uh huh.  And
maybe you can buy me a plush Mogeta so I can cosplay as an adorable giggling
girlfriend."

"Sure, that's exactly what I want."  The bag she'd brought was light enough that
he could manage it and the lunch one-handed; he went and touched her shoulder
while she worked on the second boot.  "You'd have to pitch your voice higher,
though."

"You're not supposed to know girls fake that," she retorted, straightening up. 
"It's a secret."

"Right."  He kept his hand on her, feeling the way her muscles moved.  "You're a
little shaky.  Are you letting me feel how bad it really is, or are you pushing
yourself?"

"I'm pushing some.  Not too much."  The reply was slow and reluctant.  "Don't
tell them.  I'll be fine if I can get out of here."

He bent and kissed her forehead, her bangs tickling his nose.  "Deal.  Can you
just check yourself out?"

"I told Tori-nii I wouldn't come at all if he didn't authorize that."

"Ok."  A small step back put a more socially acceptable distance between them,
made them less likely to draw attention for anything more than her clothes and
his hair, but it made him ache to be close enough to help her.  "Let's go handle
the paperwork and call a taxi."

It went more smoothly than he'd expected, especially when he saw that Kurada was
the nurse manning the appropriate desk.  But she said nothing more than, "Are
you all finished, Sohma-san?" as if having said her piece once was enough.

"Yes, thank you," Rin answered formally, scanning the papers before signing
them, and bowing politely as she handed them back.

"We'll forward everything to Dr. Sohma, then."

"Thank you," Rin repeated, as she looked through her bag for the small envelope
of money he had watched her prepare the day before; he tuned out the brief
ritual conversation that followed, paying just enough attention to bow in turn
when they were finished.

Getting out of the hospital was far easier than getting in; Rin's sense of
direction was better, for one thing, but she navigated the corridors as
naturally as if the building were merely an extension of the Sohma estate,
making a quick call for a cab while they walked.  "Are you ok?" he asked when
she'd tucked her cell phone away and they'd reached the door; she paused before
nodding and pushing it open.

Outside, she sat down on the stairs to wait for the taxi, and he watched
silently while she closed her eyes and drew a deep, slow breath of the wind that
was catching at her hair.


[fin.]